Uhgg Dont Look @ Me Like That

Soo this morning was lame not cool they woke me up when I'm supposed to be sleep I want to move now...they got mad because I watched their children because that's what I do they weren't happy. I didn't call.. I'm sorry... really I am.. its just I didn't do what I normaly don't do... I've never called to say ohh this is what I'm doing because I know I'm resposable.. any way my morning has been ruined... because instead of Good morning or how are you it was what happen last night and even have you been looking for work?? Just cause your other kids are soo perfect well doesn't mean I wanna be... I'm just trying to be a good role model....I'm trying to be better.. but how can I if your never happy with the things I do get right?? I'm tired of trying.. I don't wanna be here but I am and I'm trying not to give up.. because God knows I want to.. I don't wanna fight any more I just wanna rest.. I just want to foget the pain.. I had a dream last night about her I covered for her I helped her I was there and when I needed her she was no were to be found.. this repeated it self soo many times over.. I don't understand why it did I don't know why me why couldn't life be better for me than it is now?? Why couldn't I have went to college and stared my degree then why not be married or engaged to a Man?? Why did I have to go through the past 10 years the way I did?? Why couldn't have things been differnt.. I could love the way I do without all of that?? So why ?? Why heartbreak after break?? Why can't I have love?? A love I don't have to share...every thing I do is for others... I want someone to think about me and go the exrta mile for me... I'm tired of crying and hurting on the inside...every one see's a smile but if you look like I look or listen like I do you would see and hear the truth.. I'm done ranting about me now.. its not their fault... its been building up and because I don't have anyone that I don't share or has the time.. well I just didn't have any one to tell... any way that's that...later..
#DON'T JUDGE ME..