Sometimes I know I'm crazy like the things I do are crazy.. sometimes I feel as if I really don't belong here and I really don't know were I'm supposed to fit I'm borderline crazy I guess... sometimes I really feel as if whenthings get good like every one else wants to mess it up...and she thought she was out there.... man I'm all types of crazy!!

Sometimes I know I'm crazy like the things I do are crazy.. sometimes I feel as if I really don't belong here and I really don't know were I'm supposed to fit I'm borderline crazy I guess... sometimes I really feel as if whenthings get good like every one else wants to mess it up...and she thought she was out there.... man I'm all types of crazy!!

I don't know how to feel right now! I miss her but I know we need our space!! Its just wanna really be there for her! Me being honest with my self!!

I can't take this any more I'm tired I'm ready to just give up and there's nothing any one can do about it I'm just soo ready to give it all up it hurts to much to try to continue on like this !

As I was driving home tonight I saw something that I've never seen before! I saw the moon like I've never seen it before it was just soo beautiful and all I could see is a smile!! That's how beautiful it was but I can't change how I feel but I want too!!!

Goodbye \ Broken heart

This will be the hardest thing I'll ever do because I've never done it before! I have to say good bye I have to let go starting tonight! I thought I could handle this I thought I could do this but my heart hurts with ever moment that we share!  I've been knowing for some time now that we were heading our seperat ways but I didn't want to see it! See You were my like my sun.. when I had bad days you cheered me up you were like my rock when things would get crazy yu would keep me grounded... I hate knowing that someone else has your heart I hate knowing that I'm sharing you with someone who isn't me! Me saying this is me comitting suidcied! Because words this deep are words from my very soul! And can never be replaced! It would almost make since for me to say good bye for real now! What's the point of me going on with out you?? There were nights and some days I would just stare at my phone waiting for you to call or text me I would wonder where you were or what you were doing and if you were ok ... I've been just trying to be ok I've been trying to let go of you but I can't your an angle in my world you made me feel important you made me smile more than I had in a long time and I can't and I don't want to lose that I don't want t lose you but if me holding on to you is the wrong thing I have to let you go I love you more than you know I think that sometimes the choices I've made with you were selfish ones.. I've wanted nothing more to have you feel about me the way I feel for you! I even drempt it. It was magic for me but I know its not reality it may be time for me to let you go I don't wanna hold you back so I'm  gonna let you go and tonight is the night I do just that!!...  

I don't know how to explain just how it feels to just wanna give up to end every thing that's going on! I just wanna stop feeling feeling this way towards other females and this way to other ppl in general!! I hate the fact that all I've been doing is loving and caring being there for other ppl and I don't get any type of true kindness back at all I just want some one to look at me and see as I see in others and to never give up on me some one who will stick around when I try to push them away! Someone who will just wanna sit out side with me and look at the stars some one who will pick up the guitar and try and play me a song some one who will just listen to me when times are just bad and when I'm crying because of all the frustrastion will just allow me to soak up their shirt!! Some one who is willing to get up early morning to cme and just walk with me as part of my exciercise!! I just want to be loved and loved right!!

What I see in you!

She asked me what was it that I saw in her that made me like her?! I didn't tell her right away but this is what I would have said!

the things I see when I look at you are you eyes how they light up when your excited about someting! The way you laugh how it has this ring too it how yu continue to obsse over something or someone like it was just the first time you've mention it... how you enjoy your emo/biker/ skater girl look but your really a girlly girl inside! How you ask what words mean like I know what every thing means... how you continue to push on while things are going on bothering you while things are stressing you out... how your strong! Even when you don't feel it, how your couragous even if you don't feel it and even more how your just soo beautiful even if you don't feel it! Your everything I've wanted and even more!! I'm sorry that I feel like this and that our friendship suffers sometimes because of it but I'll never be sorry for these words that I've said!! I love who you are Gen !! Your maken me a better person for it! Making me stronger and more couragous! =) love you girl I gotch yo back!! I Gotch yah!!