Yeah this girl and I have been through soo much I've liked her since forever an even told her at one time and she even knows that I still have a thing and she doesn't care.. but lately I've been feeling more of a pull to her... I think she knows but is waiting for me to say or do something.. the thing is that she's more than a friend or a sister or a lover or any thing like that she holds my heart and no matter how may times has or may push me away I will forever be there I would find her if she moved away.. I would follow her to the end of the earth if that's were she was.. I would die if she died.. really no other person has ever made me feel this way.. I love her more than I've loved another..
Sounds corny I know but its the truth.. she's never just used me in fact I have to almost beg her to let me do any thing for her...life with out her is misery.. Sorry I'm just going on and on but I've been trying to write out how I feel and now I'm able too!! I couldn't express it before and now I have this is what's driving me crazy. She wants to know what's on my mind but to tell her means that I may lose a really Great friend or even make things awkward and I don't wanna do that I don't wanna lose what we have unless there is a chance that she feels the same way.. I look at her and I cring because of how tiny she is the bruses on her body.. I can see the misery in her face I can feel the touch of loneliness.. I want nothing else to see her truly happy nothing more than to know that she's well!! I want to be with her every day I want to wake up next to her just holding her safe so nothing nor no one could hurt her.. I love her.. more than she will ever know!!

Wow

She's beauiful!! There is no way that she's just that beautiful and today she has this look about her that just blows my mind!!

I don't under stand what it is that he wants me to do ... I think no I know what it is but why now and is this really what he wants me to do? Or is this what I want to do I get so agitated or should I say antsy when it comes to talking to her one on one I've never been shy or scared when it comes down to talking to women but this one well it scares me when I have to talk to her because I know how she is and she has yet to open up to me but you know what I'm gonna just continue to do what I feel is right ! And if that's talking to her than I will! Any way I think ima go now its almost time for my break to be over any way I'm not doing well!

I have to give it up!! What's it you may say?? Not it but whom?? Some one who was a great friend but turned into someone I really don know some one who ended up being like every one else in my life!! Someone who just broke me!! Some one who ended up not caring!! Some one who used me!!

Where is my Heart!

Where is my heart?? How come I don't feel it beat?? Am I dead?? Have I died and don't know it? I'm still feel air flow through me I still bleed and I can walk but I don't feel the love the fire of my heart... Where is my heart?? Have I lost it? Was it stolen or did it stay behind in the last relationship?? Where is my heart??

The Kiss!

The kiss was sweet it was soft it was every thing that I imagined it would be she tasted of cherrys lol smile across my face soo wide I know that she is mine and only mine!! I plan to treat her right soo much so that she never worries again!! She's mine. I open my eyes to see her smileing right back! Knowing it was worth it!! Just as she imagined it was soo special to have waited all this time for her!! How did this happen??  Will it last or is this temperary ???

What is love??

Over the past three weeks my heart has been hurting has been yearning for you!! I don't know how else to put it I don't how to change it I don't know any thing else!! I don't know why I want you I don't know how to be any differnt!! I looked at you today and you seemed scared you seemed differnt!! I didn't go up to you I just stood there I saw you I wanted you but I jut stood there I didn't go after you my regret for the day I keep seeing you there just walking away I stood there like a dummy!!!  I want to see you I want to love you I want you I know you think about me I know you miss me too you would have to be blind deft and just stupid not to think about me!! I miss you I love you!!! I need you even more!!!!