Fuck this bull shit I can't believe I'm still were I 've always been this is stupid shit that's why I never opened myself up becAuse really  I hate being hurt like this I don't want to have to deal with this like this... she won't talk to me don't ask me why because I don't know and he well don't get me started on the one man I really let in can only tear me down I'm done don't I deserve love I mean real love not that tv shit no the real deal I want that  everything else is bull shit and I don't have time for bull shit..

I miss her sometimes I know its not fair but I do.. it's not fair for me nor is it fair to him I can't say that I love him because there is a lot that he refuses to share with me .. And I'm supposed to have enough faith for the both of us?? I don't know but what I do know is that I really do care about him I wish he would open up to me then I have nights like tonight Shes  on my mind I miss her but I don't want too.. I know that she  is happy right were she is, well at lest that's what it seems like.. I'm not gonna fight I won't I've fought for her once she was my world her and the girls were  my world I would have done anything for them.. but now I'm stepping back right now before I hurt my  heart once more..I can feel it break a bit just like the day I said "Goodbye"  I'm sitting here listening to love songs by the sweet voices of Ed Sheeran and that can get me in trouble lol I love the voice.. any way my love is real and I hope you see that before it's too late ..