I don't understand you at all I don't get it?? Why would you push away someone who has proven them-self over and over again?? Maybe I was mistaken myself maybe what I feel was never real.. maybe I'm thinking too much in to this maybe you enjoy seeing me hurt and confused I never thought that you out of all people would do this to me... I just care too much is that it?? Well ok then just forget it don't play f***en Games with me damit!! Tell me Tell me to my f***en face tell me this whole time you never cared at all and that this past 7 years spent was meaning less.. I never meant any thing to you at all ever... everything was a joke to you you used to tell me just be your self well I'm being me now soo why aren't you?? I know you!! Or I thought I did.. this is the worst heartache ever I feel like my head is spinning my heart has been crushed.. I won't allow my self to cry this time I just won't.. you hurt me soo bad. I've never been made a fool of till I met you and truth be told if it meant that I would get to spent time with you then I would do it all over again.. I'm soo crazy for you its soo not healthy at all day in and day out your my thought and every time you write me it gets worse.. I would do any thing for you.. love is all I have to give and I don't know why.. I keep waiting for some one to just shoot me out of my misery or even just run over my heart.. every thing I've done and nothing has pulled you away from me.. not even the distance helps..soo here is the last thing I ask.. the only thing I know to do.. Dear God please take me home for I can't handle being here on earth with out my Heart... I've been hurting too much more so over this past year more than any thing.. soo God please take me so that I will no long look like a fool nor will I hurt any more.. I'm done.. (5 letters in both first name and last both born on the 19th and the 19th I shall die..)